Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Helping others is better than a day at the gym
Volunteering has its health benefits. Tell your doctor you're going to read to kids at the local library the next time he recommends a diet!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
....and let's remember the former Caregivers in our midst
We've opened up our Family Wellness Workshops to our former Caregivers with the idea that now is the time for them to finally be able to reflect on their experiences and then possibly mentor the new folks going down that similar path. Grieving the loss of this life altering lifestyle and celebrating the richness that is Caregiving is now open to anyone who has been there and done that.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Lawyers on the team......article and video
Find out what Dorothy and Toto learned in Oz. Sometimes the world is just too hostile and complicated to go it alone. A lawyer on your team may be just the thing that every Caregiver needs.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Caregiver Access for you newbie Caregivers
If you are just starting down the Caregiver road we that know you are probably busy getting everything in order. At Caregiver Access we might be able to help you with that. We've put together a few short videos to help you organize your thoughts and when you need it there's more information on the site.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
What's Stronger than a Living Will?
Read this great article from AARP and find out why many seriously ill patients are talking to their doctors about the MOLST program in New York.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Caregiver Access the website is live
Join us in celebrating the launch of www.caregiveraccess.org. It's where you'll find resources, programs, information and support for Family and Informal Caregivers. At Caregiver Access we believe that when families have support from their community their Caregiving gets easier. We believe that when Caregivers are equipped with the information they need to know they can rest secure in the knowledge that they are giving their best. We also believe that when Caregivers feel loved and appreciated by those around them it helps to strengthen their hearts for the journey ahead. We want Caregivers to always feel loved and appreciated and welcomed to our family at Caregiver Access.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Caregivers in the research lab
I watched DVD's on stress last week just before the storm hit. Good timing! Living without electricity for 5 days gave me time to think about those shows. One was by National Geographic called "Stress: Portrait of a Killer". Towards the end of the show they showed a group of mom's of kids with various disabilities. After studying this group, scientists found that the moms produced more of the good kind of cell repair enzymes during and after their support group. This is good news for all of us who thought it might be a good idea for Caregivers to come out and share their experiences and get the support they need.
The other show was "The New Medicine" with Dana Reeves before she passed. These scientists at Ohio State University also studied Caregivers but this time it was Caregivers of someone with Alzheimer's. They found that when the Caregivers don't get the support they need they are so stressed that it took 9 days longer to heal a small wound.
The moral of the story.......come out, come out, where ever you are! Share, laugh, cry, and learn new ways to cope. There are Family Wellness Workshops all over Westchester, NY. Check the calendar at HVHC.org for one near you.
The other show was "The New Medicine" with Dana Reeves before she passed. These scientists at Ohio State University also studied Caregivers but this time it was Caregivers of someone with Alzheimer's. They found that when the Caregivers don't get the support they need they are so stressed that it took 9 days longer to heal a small wound.
The moral of the story.......come out, come out, where ever you are! Share, laugh, cry, and learn new ways to cope. There are Family Wellness Workshops all over Westchester, NY. Check the calendar at HVHC.org for one near you.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
No two Caregivers are exactly alike, so how can they have so much in common?
I've just spent the last two days making my rounds. I bring my Family Wellness Workshops to assisted living homes, hospitals and active senior residences. I'm always amazed at the variety of stories I hear from the Family Caregivers who attend my workshops.
One daughter described leaving her son and grandchildren and commuting from the southwest of the USA all the way across country to be with her dad whenever she can. Another daughter was local and came to the home every day during the week to take her mom shopping, driving, and to her various appointments.
It wouldn't seem that these two daughters had much in common but once they started talking it became clear that they did. Both of them loved their only surviving parent very much. Both of them worried about the future aging of their loved ones and whether they could handle the gradual decline that was in their future. Both of them felt guilty that they weren't handling things properly or doing enough for their loved one. Both of them had siblings who were making things worse by not helping out, being critical and disagreeing with important decisions that needed to be made.
Family Caregivers have very different situations that they are dealing with but when they get a chance to compare notes they can see how much they are actually alike.
One daughter described leaving her son and grandchildren and commuting from the southwest of the USA all the way across country to be with her dad whenever she can. Another daughter was local and came to the home every day during the week to take her mom shopping, driving, and to her various appointments.
It wouldn't seem that these two daughters had much in common but once they started talking it became clear that they did. Both of them loved their only surviving parent very much. Both of them worried about the future aging of their loved ones and whether they could handle the gradual decline that was in their future. Both of them felt guilty that they weren't handling things properly or doing enough for their loved one. Both of them had siblings who were making things worse by not helping out, being critical and disagreeing with important decisions that needed to be made.
Family Caregivers have very different situations that they are dealing with but when they get a chance to compare notes they can see how much they are actually alike.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
"Pocket Neighborhoods" emerging
I received this article from my friend Ken.
People need people, and a more simplified social-centered lifestyle. That's the key motivation for a major trend in today's housing market. Increasing numbers of homebuyers tend to shy away from large, maintenance-heavy homes with spacious yards in favor of small basic homes in intimate neighborhoods. They want to live close, but not too close, to neighbors. Thus, architects and developers are responding by planning small groups of single-family homes - perhaps 6 to 12 small homes - in a setting of neighbor-friendliness. These mini-communities are sometimes referred to as pocket neighborhoods.
Typically, these are clustered groups of neighboring houses gathered around some sort of shared open space - a garden courtyard, a pedestrian street, a series of joined backyards, or a reclaimed alley - all of which have a clear sense of territory and shared stewardship. They can be in urban, suburban or rural areas, it was noted by architect Ross Chapin, author of the new book, "Pocket Neighborhoods," published by Taunton Press.
These are settings where nearby neighbors can easily know one another, where empty nesters and single householders with far-flung families can find friendship or a helping hand nearby, and where children can have shirttail aunties and uncles just beyond their front gate, Chapin said.
People need people, and a more simplified social-centered lifestyle. That's the key motivation for a major trend in today's housing market. Increasing numbers of homebuyers tend to shy away from large, maintenance-heavy homes with spacious yards in favor of small basic homes in intimate neighborhoods. They want to live close, but not too close, to neighbors. Thus, architects and developers are responding by planning small groups of single-family homes - perhaps 6 to 12 small homes - in a setting of neighbor-friendliness. These mini-communities are sometimes referred to as pocket neighborhoods.
Typically, these are clustered groups of neighboring houses gathered around some sort of shared open space - a garden courtyard, a pedestrian street, a series of joined backyards, or a reclaimed alley - all of which have a clear sense of territory and shared stewardship. They can be in urban, suburban or rural areas, it was noted by architect Ross Chapin, author of the new book, "Pocket Neighborhoods," published by Taunton Press.
These are settings where nearby neighbors can easily know one another, where empty nesters and single householders with far-flung families can find friendship or a helping hand nearby, and where children can have shirttail aunties and uncles just beyond their front gate, Chapin said.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Harsh words hurt everyone
I was reminded yesterday of the entire subject of anger and Caregiving. It's not one we like to dwell on but it is worth shining a light on.
I was speaking with a Caregiver who's taken care of his father, then his mother and now his sister with bi-polar disorder. Back when he was watching his mother care for his father he would get upset with her style of dealing with her husband. He had dementia and she was in denial. She thought that her husband was upsetting her on purpose and basically just needed to snap out of it. Her husband would have days of absolute clarity so this made things even worse. She was sure he just needed to try harder.
As their son told me this story he described fighting with his mother about how she was treating the dad. He felt she wasn't really absorbing how serious this all was and that the father probably wasn't going to be getting better.
One day as their voices were raising the Dad chimed in that he would be good and they didn't need to fight. The son realized that his dad was blaming himself for their upset and was trying to fix things as best he could. He went down to the basement and cried his eyes out. From that day on, no matter what his opinion of his mother's style of Caregiving was, he never raised his voice again.
We need to remember that anger hurts everyone in earshot, children, pets, each other. It's important to get help or find another way if this becomes a constant pattern in our Caregiving. We want to do a good job and be proud of how we are treating our loved ones. This should be our guide.
I was speaking with a Caregiver who's taken care of his father, then his mother and now his sister with bi-polar disorder. Back when he was watching his mother care for his father he would get upset with her style of dealing with her husband. He had dementia and she was in denial. She thought that her husband was upsetting her on purpose and basically just needed to snap out of it. Her husband would have days of absolute clarity so this made things even worse. She was sure he just needed to try harder.
As their son told me this story he described fighting with his mother about how she was treating the dad. He felt she wasn't really absorbing how serious this all was and that the father probably wasn't going to be getting better.
One day as their voices were raising the Dad chimed in that he would be good and they didn't need to fight. The son realized that his dad was blaming himself for their upset and was trying to fix things as best he could. He went down to the basement and cried his eyes out. From that day on, no matter what his opinion of his mother's style of Caregiving was, he never raised his voice again.
We need to remember that anger hurts everyone in earshot, children, pets, each other. It's important to get help or find another way if this becomes a constant pattern in our Caregiving. We want to do a good job and be proud of how we are treating our loved ones. This should be our guide.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Daffodils in the mud
Imagine waiting an entire year to bloom and then a rain storm weighs down your petals. Instead of announcing spring, the daffodils' lovely yellow petals are stuck in the mud.
Often couples have waited a lifetime to retire. When an illness comes along,instead of walking on a sandy beach or taking an art course at the local museum, a newly recruited Family Caregiver is now sitting by a loved one's bedside or in a doctor's waiting room. Just like the daffodil, Caregivers need a nice "gardner" to come along and shake off the heavy weight of some of their burdens.
Helping their loved one stay at home is one of the most helpful things a community can do for a Family Caregiver. Here's a great program that's been a model for the rest of the country.
Often couples have waited a lifetime to retire. When an illness comes along,instead of walking on a sandy beach or taking an art course at the local museum, a newly recruited Family Caregiver is now sitting by a loved one's bedside or in a doctor's waiting room. Just like the daffodil, Caregivers need a nice "gardner" to come along and shake off the heavy weight of some of their burdens.
Helping their loved one stay at home is one of the most helpful things a community can do for a Family Caregiver. Here's a great program that's been a model for the rest of the country.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Quieting the clutter of technology
As Caregivers, we need to stop reacting to the massive amounts of clutter in our daily path so that we can think, reflect, plan, initiate and see the big picture. This radio show "On Being" talks about how we can start making good choices around our technologies and start putting some devices aside in order to contemplate our journey.
We especially need to exam why we are even too plugged in to read this post or listen to this radio show!! Hee,hee!
We especially need to exam why we are even too plugged in to read this post or listen to this radio show!! Hee,hee!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
For the families living with the effects of autism
This week they are running a special focus on Autism on WPIX. Lots of great info. and yes there is much yet to do. Getting information out to you, the Family Caregivers, seems to be a priority. Caregiver Access will try to help in any way we can.
On a personal note, my drummer friend Eric Katz is involved with the song "Light it up Blue" that they sang on Friday's show. The kids are adorable.
On a personal note, my drummer friend Eric Katz is involved with the song "Light it up Blue" that they sang on Friday's show. The kids are adorable.
Monday, April 4, 2011
I can't believe I've done it again!
10 years ago someone told me that you shouldn't stand on the soil in your garden. It is a living, breathing entity and doesn't like to be squashed. So my solution has been to put a board down that is the entire length of the garden. I stand on that as I plant and weed.
This idea works for the later summer but each spring several of my tulips are trapped underneath the board and they don't get any light. When I finally remember to lift the board I am greeted with a sorry sight. The tulip leaves are a bright yellow and all spindly. It's like the life has been choked out of them.
So what does this have to do with Family Caregivers?
We all need light and air or we'll shrivel up just like my tulips. We also need someone to lift the board off of us to lighten our burden. That's what Caregiver Access will be doing for you over the next few months. Stay tuned!
This idea works for the later summer but each spring several of my tulips are trapped underneath the board and they don't get any light. When I finally remember to lift the board I am greeted with a sorry sight. The tulip leaves are a bright yellow and all spindly. It's like the life has been choked out of them.
So what does this have to do with Family Caregivers?
We all need light and air or we'll shrivel up just like my tulips. We also need someone to lift the board off of us to lighten our burden. That's what Caregiver Access will be doing for you over the next few months. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Virtual Dementia Tour and discussion
Attention Caregivers of those with Alzheimer's and Dementia.
Join us on March 31, 2011 at 3 p.m. for a panel discussion on "When Your Loved One Changes" and then a Virtual Dementia Tour at 5 p.m.
The event is being held at the Atria Briarcliff on Pleasantville Rd. Call 914-368-5506 for information and to register for the tour. There are only a few spots left.
Learning to create a positive environment for those with Dementia can only come from attempting to walk in their shoes. This valuable, easy to follow tour is designed to help you identify with and understand your loved one’s behaviors and needs.
The VDT® offers hope to Caregivers, providing tips and tools necessary to create an environment that supports the disease and lessens confusion.
Join us on March 31, 2011 at 3 p.m. for a panel discussion on "When Your Loved One Changes" and then a Virtual Dementia Tour at 5 p.m.
The event is being held at the Atria Briarcliff on Pleasantville Rd. Call 914-368-5506 for information and to register for the tour. There are only a few spots left.
Learning to create a positive environment for those with Dementia can only come from attempting to walk in their shoes. This valuable, easy to follow tour is designed to help you identify with and understand your loved one’s behaviors and needs.
The VDT® offers hope to Caregivers, providing tips and tools necessary to create an environment that supports the disease and lessens confusion.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"Catching" your sweetie's dementia?
You do the things you need to do to keep you and your spouse afloat when they develope dementia. Then you read an article like this one that says you are a more likely candidate for dementia because you are a Caregiver.
What about all the love and the sense of purpose that many of us Caregivers feel? Those emotions are good for you. Taking on the role of your sweetie's advocate is a powerful healer. Where are those studies that Caregiving may be good for you?
What about all the love and the sense of purpose that many of us Caregivers feel? Those emotions are good for you. Taking on the role of your sweetie's advocate is a powerful healer. Where are those studies that Caregiving may be good for you?
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