Harsh words hurt everyone

I was reminded yesterday of the entire subject of anger and Caregiving. It's not one we like to dwell on but it is worth shining a light on.
I was speaking with a Caregiver who's taken care of his father, then his mother and now his sister with bi-polar disorder. Back when he was watching his mother care for his father he would get upset with her style of dealing with her husband. He had dementia and she was in denial. She thought that her husband was upsetting her on purpose and basically just needed to snap out of it. Her husband would have days of absolute clarity so this made things even worse. She was sure he just needed to try harder.
As their son told me this story he described fighting with his mother about how she was treating the dad. He felt she wasn't really absorbing how serious this all was and that the father probably wasn't going to be getting better.
One day as their voices were raising the Dad chimed in that he would be good and they didn't need to fight. The son realized that his dad was blaming himself for their upset and was trying to fix things as best he could. He went down to the basement and cried his eyes out. From that day on, no matter what his opinion of his mother's style of Caregiving was, he never raised his voice again.
We need to remember that anger hurts everyone in earshot, children, pets, each other. It's important to get help or find another way if this becomes a constant pattern in our Caregiving. We want to do a good job and be proud of how we are treating our loved ones. This should be our guide.