Rockland Psychiatric asks about the emotional issues that Caregiver face

Hear about why Christine Sotmary chose to interview 22 Family Caregivers to find out what emotional issues they faced. There are many surprises in their responses! Watch the video interview.

Dad and son break records and save each other's lives

Strongest Dad in the World by Rick Reilly

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him ...26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars – all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much – except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."

"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway. Then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 – only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE...Getting back up is LIVING...Have a great life.

1,000 acts of kindness #5

1,000 acts of kindness. Caregiver Access acknowledges Caregivers who suffer with the guilt of neglecting the well-child, or their spouse or their friends in order to provide the level of care that they feel the person who needs them requires.

New Caregiver Story on Caregiver Access site

Lisa tells her story of caring for her mom who has Alzheimer's in this short video.

1,000 acts of kindness #4

1,000 acts of kindness. Caregiver Access acknowledges Caregivers who need to hide their true feelings. You often can't say how worried or sad you are in front of the person you are caring for. You often need to appear strong when you feel shattered. You watch your dreams for your future change or disappear and you can't complain to the person you are caring for. Other Caregivers understand and we at Caregiver Access understand. Come and talk to us.. We know........

1,000 acts of kindness #3

1,000 acts of kindness. Caregiver Access acknowledges Caregivers who understand that the person they are caring for may have become more narcissitic because that's what pain, aging, injuries and disabilities tend to bring about. We understand that acknowledgement, thanks and appreciation aren't always available to you and you still get out there each and every day and provide care.

1,000 act of kindness #1

1,000 acts if kindness. Caregiver Access wants to acknowledge every time a Caregiver can still show affection to a mom that's driving them crazy, or a bossy dad, a husband that didn't like what they made for dinner, a wife who complained about which toothpaste they bought at the grocery store or a child whose medical needs are all consuming. Giving a hug, a squeeze of a hand, a quick kiss can feel harder than climbing a mountain.

Disaster Assistance for East Coast

If you sustained losses or damage from Hurricane Sandy, you may be eligible for disaster aid.
Information: www.disasterassistance.gov
To apply: 1-800-462-7585
Smartphone: m.fema.gov

Have ready:
SS#
Home insurance info.
Address and zip
Directions to property
Daytime phone #
Where you can be reached
Address to receive mail
Bank account type, account # and routing #

The Levines are ready to guide you

Stephen and Ondrea Levine are wonderful teachers and healers, especially in the areas of death and dying. They are always talking about life.....really......and why we do it everyday. Whenever you feel like you are losing your way they can bring you back to what really still matters for you underneath the daily superficialities.
You can check out their talks here. http://levinetalks.com/ The first month is free and then you can become a memeber for ongoing support and healing.

Doctors discover Family Caregivers!

It really matters when you include the Family Caregivers and Informal Caregivers in the medical conversation!

Hudson Valley Caregivers.....give a listen.

Radio Rotary focuses on Caring for the Caregiver. Lots of great stuff to share with the Caregivers in your life.

Papers and dying!!??? Getting it together.

What do you need to get organized? This is for all those you will be leaving behind. My mother always told me to "be nice" and this is a good way to start. You'll sleep better.....I promise.

Sharing time and energy

Read about this wonderful program in VT to help community members stay in their homes.

The unspoken side of Caregiving

Caregivers who already have leanings towards various addictions need to stay alert to the stress they are experiencing. Read about this Caregiver issue to prevent the heart break.

Helping others is better than a day at the gym

Volunteering has its health benefits. Tell your doctor you're going to read to kids at the local library the next time he recommends a diet!

Radio piece and article that will astound you humans!

Rats are natural at being Caregivers

Stressed out for the holidays? There's help.

Hudson Valley Hospital Programs....the video

Lawyers on the team......article and video

Find out what Dorothy and Toto learned in Oz. Sometimes the world is just too hostile and complicated to go it alone. A lawyer on your team may be just the thing that every Caregiver needs.

Caregiver Access for you newbie Caregivers

If you are just starting down the Caregiver road we that know you are probably busy getting everything in order. At Caregiver Access we might be able to help you with that. We've put together a few short videos to help you organize your thoughts and when you need it there's more information on the site.

What's Stronger than a Living Will?

Read this great article from AARP and find out why many seriously ill patients are talking to their doctors about the MOLST program in New York.